Sunday, August 22, 2010

I've been really struggling to be a good Christian, a good testimony...etc.

I realised that it's so hard if we were to rely on our own flesh. When we do so, the lesson that God wann to teach me seem longer than I would take. But He's patient enough to pick me up whenver I fall.

Anger is a sin. I'm trying to get rid of it. I thought I've done well enough to move on but it doesn't seemed to be so. I thought I've alr learnt the lesson well enough but I realised I was wrong, when I flared up. It's a small matter, I know..at that point of time, I couldn't exactly know why i did that..

After which, when I reflected,I blame myself for all this. At that moment of time, I know that it wasn't just that particular incident that i'm upset about. The sum of my anger was the addition of the previous incidents that happened.

I felt disappointed. I wan to let go and let God take control of my life. But I seemed to be controlling it. I just cannot let go and let God get into this life of mine! I wan to d oso many things but I end up with so little strength and time that i can't do. God has told me that since the chruch retreat but I don't seemed to be able to exercise it! Is it becos I am relying on my own flesh and strength and not turn to God? :O

3:31 AM

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